Wednesday, March 17, 2004

So Angry I Threw The Remote At The TV

Throwing Stones in a White Glass House Like a fat kid finding a Snickers bar, Bush is jumping all over Kerry's claim that he has the support of foreign leaders (which is pointless to demand names and sources over, because he obviously has the support of most of "Old Europe"). Besides, what about naming names and sources over your claims for Iraqi uranium and WMDs? I mean, doesn't an unprovoked war that has killed thousands make more of a statement about credibility?

Bush Needs PR for his PR Did John Kerry vote against body armor for American troops as per the latest Bush smear ad? Um... not really. As this piece from FactCheck shows, Kerry voted against a huge bill of which the armor was a small part. The ad also fails to mention that under Bush the military was sent into combat without the armor in the first place.

Travel The World. Meet Interesting People. And Kill Them. Jennifer Garner, star of the TV show Alias is fronting a recruitment drive for the CIA which is appropriate since the former star of "Dude, Where's My Car?" plays a CIA agent on TV. Says Garner during the ad, "Right now, the CIA has important, exciting jobs for US citizens, especially those with foreign language skills." Maybe on the follow-up ads she can detail those exciting jobs: deposing legitimate foreign leaders, training Central American death squads, torture classes at the School of the Americas, etc. Go Liberal Hollywood!

And The Animals Are PISSED OFF! When people mention Australia, this is exactly what I imagine the continent-sized former prison to be like. A kangaroo kicked the ass of a 48 year-old Queensland woman. As she told a local paper, "I can still see his big, beady eyes, like you see in a Martian video. He had so much hate in his eyes. I always thought they were cute animals, [but] now I want them culled." She also ironically asked a la Dr. Suess, "But what am I going to do? Sue a kangaroo?" Ironic because she works for an attorney who specializes in personal injury claims. In other angry animal news, a Virginia woman was bitten by a bobcat in her basement.

Why Does Every Freak Who Gets Arrested Rock A Beard!? Osama bin Laden, captured Saddam, Unabomber, Eliabeth Smart kidnapper, shoe-bomber, John Walker Lindh, et al. You're not helping the Sikh Geek's steeze.

-The Sikh Geek