Wednesday, March 03, 2004

The Nation's Left Tries To Get It Up For The Missionary Position Of Democratic Candidates

John Kerry all but locked-up the Democratic nod on Super Tuesday (although some of us are still holding out for Kucincich- 8% in Ohio!) and the Bush campaign is planning on unloading their first round of TV ads from their $100 million war chest on Thursday. Most analysts think that the ads will start out tame, but get nastier asthe campaign approaches November. Whatever bullshit will get thrown at Kerry in the fall, things are already insane. John Kerry is backed by fundamentalist Iranian clerics! John Kerry was good friends with the former Church of Satan head Aton LaVey! John Kerry teamed up with Hanoi Jane! Awesome! Did John Kerry have a prayer breakfast with Hitler, the Grinch and that dude in the stands who ruined the Cubs' chances of a pennant? YES!

Cartoon Justification For Adding the "One Penis in One Vagina 4Eva" Amendment to the Constitution

Fuck That. My Paranoid Ass Will Be Getting My Paycheck In Tens From Now On The EU does it with their money, and now a website claims that the US has put RFID tags in all of the new twenties. I would try their microwave trick at home, but you know, I would need money first.

Well, At Least We're Not Sending American Jobs OVERSEAS To Poor Suffering Bastards Making 30 Cents An Hour... More detailed than the previous article I posted, this Wired Magazine piece talks about "insourcing," the process of taking people's jobs and giving them to prison inmates to do at well below mnimum wage with little to no safety regulations. It's like a third world country within our own borders. Said Robert Killgore, director of Inside Oregon Enterprises, the quasi-state agency that recruits for-profit business to prisons, "This is a niche where the prison industry could really help the U.S. economy. I'm really excited about this, we keep the benefits here in the United States with companies where it's fruitless to compete on the outside." Said one excited prisoner, "At least I'm not wearing a ball and chain."

As If High School Didn't Suck Enough, Part III I don't know if this says more about the rotten state of high schools or the rotten state of Florida. A Maimi Beach High School student was bet $20 by his high school science teacher to jump out of a second story window during a class lecture on evolution. The student jumped and was uninjured; the teacher's career might as well have jumped off the Empire State Building.

-The Sikh Geek