Is It Juvenile For Me To Laugh At A Story On Oil Production Entitled "Bush's Gas Attack"?

Conspiracy Theorists Will Freak Out On This For Decades According to a speech by Philip Zelikow, now a director of the 9-11 commission, the invasion of Iraq was an attempt to eliminate the Iraqi threat to Israel. As he told a UVA crowd in September of 2002, "Why would Iraq attack America or use nuclear weapons against us? I'll tell you what I think the real threat (is) and actually has been since 1990 -- it's the threat against Israel. And this is the threat that dare not speak its name, because the Europeans don't care deeply about that threat, I will tell you frankly. And the American government doesn't want to lean too hard on it rhetorically, because it is not a popular sell."

Now I'm no financial planner, but I know that video poker certainly is not a valid "investment." A casino in New Mexico pulled a TV ad that promoted gambling as a financial solution to people low on cash or in debt. This is probably from the same ad agency that ran the "Morbidly Depressed? Try Drinking More!" ads...

Bush Is Collecting Campaign Funds At The Rate of $25,000 An Hour This and other political campaign contribution facts (Kerry STILL hasn't raised more $$$ than Dean?!) can be found over at whitehouseforsale.org. In more troubling fundraising news, Rolling Stone has just done an article on Bush's fundraising efforts and its huge list of Rangers, Pioneers, Explorers, Mousekateers and Super Special Money-Hungry Fuckfaces.

For the Last Freaking Time People, THEY WILL TURN ON THEIR HUMAN MASTERS!

Appetite for Self-Humiliation Guns 'N Roses, the hard rock dinosaur from a time long, long ago is still be dragged along by lead singer/only remaining original member/Ahab Axl Rose. His bizarre attempts to reunite the band and tour have been an epic tragi-comedy of errors with the latest chapter being a cancellation of a Libson concert due to the departure of guitarist Buckethead, a man "who's never seen in public unmasked or without a KFC bucket over his head." Axl released a massive and clumsy press release about Buckethead's departure which quickly won the title of Worst Press Release of the Week by the blog Gawker (read the press release here). The good news? Axl has proclaimed that the departure of Buckethead will not cockblock the release of Chinese Democracy, the as-yet-unheard album that has seen dozens of lineup changes, delayed release dates and a budget of over $10 million. I'm sure it sucks.

Dumber Than PunkVoter, More Frightening than ConservativePunk is HeadCount, the Dead Head/jam band voter registration group that is looking for hippies at shows to stop staring at the tracers coming from their hands long enough to sign up to vote. Like they won't be too stoned to make it to the polls in November anyway... And speaking of retarded ways to get out the vote, meet Reggie the Voter Registration Rig, otherwise known as "a desperate way for the GOP to try to get the young vote and the NASCAR vote at the same time." Check out Reggie's massive celebrity guestbook! It is full with both Rusty Wallace AND Ed Gillespie!

-The Sikh Geek