Friday, April 02, 2004

TODAY'S TOP FIVE: The President and Cheney: The Chocolate and Peanut Butter of 9/11-Commission-Question-Dodging.

Bush Knew! We know.

Roll Over and Play Dead Here's Paul Krugman on the whole Letterman-bored-kid thing that has inexplicably sent me into paroxysms of fury. The White House is now sticking by its denial that it called CNN to claim the bored kid wasn't in the videotape of the Bush speech. Really? Then why did two different CNN anchors repeat the claim, and say it came from the White House? CNN, for some reason, is playing fetch for the administration: It claims that both anchors "misspoke" and that there was a "misunderstanding." Really? So that means what? CNN just repeats claims without checking them? That's quite an admission, my friends. Perhaps the truth, though, is more like, CNN is covering for the White House.

Diff'rent Strokes for Diff'rent Folks In Falluja, the Iraqi city that has been a center of resistance to US occupation since last spring (as we predicted here on the MLWL... we're like the Delphic Oracle, but sexier), there is a mixture of "pride and shame" over the attacks on military contractors that resulted in charred, mutilated corpses being dragged around the street. Are the Fallujans "ashamed" that they killed four civilians? No - they're "proud" of that. They're "ashamed" that the crowd mutilated the bodies, which is apparently taboo in Islam. "The clerics will not stand for this," one man says. Things like this make me think that Iraqi ethical discussions are much livelier than American ones.

John Kerry Takes His Orders from Rome! Well, not really, and a bunch of stupid Catholic conservatives want to make a big deal of the fact that Kerry is in favor of abortion and stem cell research. One archbishop has even foolishly warned Kerry not to try to take communion in his diocese: Very pastoral of you, Father. I note that these conservatives are the same ones who defied the Pope and the church to support George Bush's imperialist war in Iraq. Apparently, it's not okay to perform abortions on people, but it is okay to shoot them and drop bombs on them. They must have left that page out of my copy of the breviary.

George Bush Loses the Wife-Swapping Vote Yes, there is an organization devoted to advocating the legalization of polygamy (actually, according to this article, there are at least two). Yes, they describe themselves as "constitutional conservatives." Yes, they oppose the Bush-endorsed federal marriage amendment, denouncing it as "Marxist collectivism." Yes, they also maintain it is "anti-Israel." Yes, this is your "Thank God It's Friday" special:

-Consider Arms