Thursday, April 22, 2004

An Aboriginal Woman Of Sarcasm Cursing A PM Of Falsehood

God Needs To Take Away The First World's Hospitals and Doctors
While children in India lose their eyesight due to a simple lack of a basic vitamin and while millions are dying of AIDS in Africa, plastic surgery is becoming mundane over in the West. Want a plastic surgeon to give you breast implants, ass implants, liposuction, a nose job, chin implants AND a face lift because you're an insane pre-op transsexual who wants to look like J-Lo? Sure! We'll broadcast the whole thing on MTV! The latest craze for the lazy and envious? Plastic surgery for the voice. Uggg.

Somebody Should Have Shot Him During His "Metal" Phase
Pat Boone has taken a strong stance as of late and declared that censorship is "healthy" for the arts. "I don't think censorship is a bad word, but it has become a bad word because everybody associates it with some kind of restriction on liberty," said Mr. Boone. You know what else has been healthy for Pat Boone's artistic career? Racism. Pat made his name with shitty, fluffy versions of early rock songs that wouldn't get airplay because their artists were Black. Download his version of "Tutti Frutti" and be amazed that Little Richard makes Pat's version sound gay.

As The Chimp Rides A Segway To WWIV...
King Abdullah of Jordan has postponed a meeting at the White House over Bush's recent insane support of Sharon (and his creepy "you owe Ariel a big 'thank you'" comments). We had one cool Arab friend who would let us sit as his lunchtable in the junior-high cafeteria of diplomacy, and now he's telling us to fuck off. And remember the threat of a nuclear Iraq that was waved in front of us to get us to fight Iraq? Those claims have been discredited... EIGHT YEARS AGO! At least Bush isn't suffering from doubt and still has God on his side.

Best Screen Capture Ever. EVER.

-The Sikh Geek