Special Last-Minute "Holy Living Fuck! Will My Sarcasm Not Be Upstaged By Reality For ONCE?!" Edition

I Always Thought NSync Were Evil, But Never Knew Timberlake Was An Al Qaida Operative Senator Sam Brownback told the National Association of Broadcasters that the Boobgate scandal during the Superbowl halftime show was "the vilest, narrowest, most hedonistic aspects of our culture," and in airing it CBS "hurt the war effort by giving such obvious moral ammunition to the recruiters of Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and the Taliban." No doubt Osama squealed with delight when he saw Jackson's boob on his cave-installed plasma screen. I used to joke with friends that the smallest things they did "helped the terrorists and fought freedom", but after Brownback's comments I guess it's all up for grabs now. When are the grown ups that used to run things going to come back?

Focusing on the Real Enemy, Susan Luci Your tax dollars hard at work. At the same National Association of Broadcasters meeting, FCC commisioner Michael Copps told reporters that the brave crusade against indecency should focus its cleansing gaze on daytime soap operas, saying "It's pretty steamy stuff for the middle of the afternoon." The next front for American morality? The FCC and John Ashcroft team up to ban two-piece bathing suits.

-The Sikh Geek, back from the beyond