Tuesday, October 12, 2004

TODAY'S TOP FIVE: Not Safe For Work.

Is This The End Of Zombie Shakespeare? Last night, the Israeli parliament voted down Sharon's gonzo Gaza withdrawal plan, casting doubt on his ability to lead the country. He has two options: Call early elections, or try to enlist more parties, including the opposition Labor Party, in the cabinet. He's going to try for the latter, as it looks like the former could bring his blood-drenched reign to an end. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

MLWL EXCLUSIVE: WMD FOUND!!! MUST CREDIT MONSTER LIMO WEBLOG!!! Of course, the weapons of mass destruction have been found in Pakistan, where the government admitted to testing this week a missile with a range of 930 miles, capable of hitting most major cities in India. And did I mention that it's a nuclear-capable missile? Pakistan, naturally, denies that this is intended to "send a message" to India. Don't worry, guys, I'm sure nobody in India even noticed.

ExxonMobil In "Total Bastards" Shocker! Boy, you'd never guess it, but the Artist Formerly Known As Standard Oil is urging its more than 34,000 employees to vote Republican this year, pointing out that the Republican Party is much closer to ExxonMobil on crucial issues like Arctic drilling, weakening the Clean Air Act, spurning global warming legislation, and obseiance to the Dark Lord of Fevers and Pestilences.

Secret Code Alert! Secret Code Alert! Get Out Your Decoder Rings! You may have pondered why George W. Bush brought up the Dred Scott decision in the course of his debate Friday (angling for that crucial fugitive slave vote?); you may even have noticed that the Dred Scott decision is code for anti-abortion groups. Here, though, is an excellent discussion not only of the super secret code reference itself, but also of the possible reasons why Bush made it. Surely, you say, Bush already has the anti-abortion vote locked up? Indeed, but he's terrified that his base won't come out and support him because he's such a fundamentally anti-conservative president. Speaking in the Babysitters Club language of the insiders is a way to mobilize the base.

What Does a Conservative Call a Soldier Opposed to the War? Self-Hating Troops? Dissatisfaction with the Iraq War: it's not just for civilians anymore. Groups like Iraq Veterans Against the War are forming to oppose what they know better than anyone else: the war that has always been a giant clusterfuck that produces only Iraqi and American casualties. This is a worthwhile article about the people treated as low-rent employees to fight a war on behalf of the neocons and Halliburton, and the troubles they're encountering because of it: suicides, lifelong health problems, mental illness.

-Consider Arms