Friday, October 08, 2004

TODAY'S TOP FIVE: A Fading Pop Princess of Truth Throwing a Soda of Sarcasm Onto a Papparazzo of Lies.

The Daily Mayhem: Egypt Edition A series of bombs struck resort areas in Egypt's Sinai peninsula today, killing at least 27. No one has claimed responsibility for the bombings, but it seems Islamic terrorists are likely to blame, as the bombings seem like they were aimed at Israeli tourists.

Hot New Post Facto Justification for Iraq War! On Thursday, following the report before Congress of the Iraq Survey Group (i.e. Saddam had no WMD after 1991), Messrs. Bush and Cheney have finally conceded, in the clearest terms yet, that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. But, that doesn't matter anyway, because as it turns out, the REAL reason we went to war in Iraq is because Saddam was skimming money off the top of the UN oil-for-food program! File this under "Unbelievable Bullshit That Will Probably Get Accepted By At Least 40 Percent Of The American Public Anyway."

Bush Family Values No, George W. Bush's daughter Barbara didn't join the secret society Skull and Bones while at Yale (word is that the Bonesmen snubbed her, which would be hilarious if true), but she did join another venerable Yale tradition: the Naked Party! It's exactly what you think, and one more reason why I'm determined to cast my ballot for Bush, so we have a Christian in the White House, along with his drunken, publicly naked daughter.

Our Bad, Yo Patricia Hewitt, the minister for trade and industry in Tony Blair's war cabinet, has made an apology "on behalf of the entire cabinet" for using inaccurate intelligence about non-existent WMD to justify signing on to Bush's crusade in Iraq. But, she says, "I don't think we were wrong to go in." Mmmkay. So, you admit that you went in under false pretenses, that you misled the British public with false information, but you won't actually say it was a mistake to go in. My goodness, how very stiff-upper-lip. Also, bonus points to Tony for hiding behind his trade minister!

Hey, That Wasn't On the Record, Was It? Dov Weisglass, Ariel Sharon's go-between with the Bush administration, admitted this week that Sharon's plan to pull out of the Gaza Strip is a trojan horse aimed at ending the peace process and forestalling a Palestinian state indefinitely. He also said the Bush administration is fully aware of this stratagem. This has infuriated Sharon and the White House, who obviously don't want this sort of unvarnished truthfulness from a government official, and now Weisglass is saying his comments were "take out of context." How out of context can this be: "Effectively, the whole package called the Palestinian state with all that entails has been removed indefinitely from our agenda. And all this with authority and permission all this with a presidential blessing and the ratification of both houses of Congress"?

-Consider Arms