Monday, May 24, 2004

Taunting Our Troops Since January 2003

The Grown-Ups Are Still Nowhere In Sight I don't know where to begin. House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco made comments last week calling Bush incompetent and claiming that "the emperor has no clothes." The Republican response is beyond belief. House leader Tom DeLay said, "She apparently is so caught up in the partisan hatred for President Bush that her words are putting American lives at risk. This nation cannot afford the luxury of her dangerous rhetoric." And by "dangerous rhetoric" he means "criticism of elected (well, not so elected) officials." House Speaker Dennis Hastert (the man who told 5-year POW John McCain that he needed to learn about troops making sacrifices for their country), "But her comments questioning the president's competence cross the line... Was it incompetence that put Saddam Hussein in jail? Was it incompetence that disbanded the Taliban?" Actually, the Taliban is still together. We recently appealed to them to join the Afghan government so it can maintain a modicum of stability (and it makes me feel nervous that I, underemployed dude with an internet connection knows that and the House speaker doesn't). The chair of the House Republicans re-election committee, Tom Reynolds, said ""If Nancy Pelosi has nothing to offer our troops, who are living and dying thousands of miles away, besides taunting them by saying they are dying needlessly and are risking their lives on a shallow mission, then she should go back to her pastel-colored condo in San Francisco and keep her views to herself.'' Luckily the SF Gate clarified that "Pelosi lives in a red brick home in Pacific Heights." With all of their smears of "San Fran liberalism" I'm sure many in the GOP had to restrain themselves before they shouted out "YOU LIVE IN GAY-TOWN! YOU LIVE IN GAY-TOWN!"

An Isolated Incident Across Several Countries "A military intelligence unit that oversaw interrogations at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq was also in charge of questioning at a detention center in Afghanistan where two prisoners died in December 2002 in incidents that are being investigated as homicides."

Pushing My Love Over the Borderline Madonna cancelled her plans to perform in Israel after terrorists threatened to kill her and her children. "She thought she was being targeted because of her Jewish Kabbalah religion. But this group were threatening her because she represents many things they hate about the West.” I'm assuming the video for "American Life" was one of those hated things. She'll just have to weep in front of pictures of starving children somewhere else...

John Kerry Has a Snack at C.O. Jones
After learning that Bush fell off a bike over the weekend, John Kerry was reported as asking memebers of the press, "Did the training wheels fall off?" Then again, the quote was reported by Matt Drudge, so it could be complete bullshit like half of his EXCLUSIVE SCOOPS!!!

Hey, Like "The Handmaid's Tale!"
A Christian group is so pissed off about gay marriage that they want to take over a Southern state and make it secede from the United States. As the head of Christian Exodus says, "Our Christian republic has declined into a pagan democracy... There are some issues people just can't take anymore, and [same-sex marriage] might finally wake up the complacent Christians."

-The Sikh Geek