Thursday, May 06, 2004

If Rachel Doesn't Stay With Ross I Swear To God I'm Going To Kill Myself

Following A Strict "Lord of the Flies" Policy in Iraq
More photos of abused Iraqi prisoners have emmerged and they're even worse than the first batch. One photo shows an Iraqi on the floor like a dog with a collar around his neck and a guard holding the leash. View them here. Another case of abuse that has surfaced involves US troops abusing an elderly Iraqi woman by making her get on the floor, telling her she was a donkey and having a US soldier ride on top of her. Bush's attempt at doing damage control on the US-backed, Virginia-based al-Hurra TV channel fell flat. One Middle-East expert called the appearance "totally unconvincing and ineffective." And the head of the US military police at Abu Ghraib is under investigation after being charged with secretly photographing naked female soldiers from his own army. What the fuck kind of training did these people get? Eight weeks of intensive "how to take naked pictures of everybody with a disposable camera" seminars? What's next? Photos of naked US soldiers taking photos of naked Iraqi soldiers being forced to look at photos of naked Iraqis in a gay pyramid?

The Hanging Chad Isn't Shit Fuck dimpled chads, white riots in Florida and getting your dads buddies in the SCOTUS to beeze you into VIP. Election fraud in 2004 is going to be clean, stealth and electronically easy. In this article from NewsMax (!) Professor Aviel Rubin from John Hopkins University tells the U.S. Election Assistance Commission that in terms of electronic voting, "On a spectrum of terrible to very good, we are sitting at terrible. Not only have the vendors not implemented security safeguards that are possible, they have not even correctly implemented the ones that are easy." Jeb Bush said all this talk was just to "scare people."

Meese In 04 A group of protesters called The Yes Men mascaraded as a right-wing think tank named "The Society for Socioeconomic Stability," attended the Heritage Foundation's annual Resource Bank meeting and took the stage during the closing luncheon, nominating Ed Meese for president. The audience applauded for ten seconds. Meese shook his head and grimaced. The Yes Men are best known for falsely representing the World Trade Organization in a number of venues aroudn the world. United Artists is releasing a movie about them in August. Check out the their site here. Note to LARPers of the Left; less gigantic street puppets and more of this.

Best Insane Millionaire Ever. A London woman was driven to a Woolworths in a limousine, bought 10,000 Mars Bars with 50-Pound notes and then drove off. A spokesperson for the Woolworths branch suggested, "Perhaps she has a sweet tooth."

-The Sikh Geek