Sunday, May 02, 2004

The ENTIRE Fucking Soccer Team Attacked The Police?

None Dare Call It Conspiracy While Bush feigns shock and horror at the treatment of Iraqi prisoners in Abu Ghraib at the hands of American troops, it's becoming clearer that such treatment was more widespread than a single group of troops, and also part of wider directives to "break down" the Iraqis for interrogations (I'm assuming hours of screaming "DO YOU KNOW OSAMA BIN LADEN?! DO YOU HAVE WMDS IN YOUR HOUSE?!"). Meanwhile, the huge backlash continues...

The O'Fuckface Factor Globe and Mail reporter Heather Mallick writes a great piece about going on Fox News to be interviewed by Bill O'Reilly, who told the son of a man who died in the WTC, "Get out of my studio before I tear you to fucking pieces." Heather wrote a piece about Canada providing shelter for American deserters from the Iraqi War that so pissed off Bill that he is now pondering a call to boycott Canada to destroy their economy, just like we did to a France (which he claims is now like 1945-era Dresden).
P.S. Extra points to Bill for unironically putting up the South Park phrase "Blame Canada?" on a graphic for a story on his boycott call.

If You Were Fishing For An Iraqi War Metaphor... In the worst state in the union (Florida) a gun safety instructor shoots himself in the leg during a presentation to children.

From Whitehouse.org " It's so great to have this opportunity to speak with you Mr. (Dennis) Miller. Your work is always so great. Really great. I've been watching your great new show religiously, and I was wondering: In Return of the Jedi, there's this little snake or lizard-like thing that runs around Jabba the Hut and licks him and stuff. Was that you?"

And From Portal of Evil Even four-year olds know how to say "sorry."

A Jessica Lynch For Our Times I guess Pat Tillman is as close as a rabid, evangelical America can get to constructing a hagiography, and a used game towel on Ebay is as close to a saint's relic as the public can get. Get it before he is posthumously promoted to general and given a post facto Congressional Medal of Honor!
P.S. Rene Gonzalez, smearing Tillman as a "GI Joe" isn't fair; the slot of a football playing Army hero was taken long ago.

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-The Sikh Geek