Wednesday, May 05, 2004

So Bad That That Weirdo Passolini Film Is Now Relevent...

No Stone Left Unturned, Or Bashed Against The Head of a Prisoner The US revealed yesterday that beyond weird gay-pryamids, two Iraqi prisoners were murdered by US forces and 23 other deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq were being investigated. Just as Bush gets the "heeby-jeebies" from saying the word "sorry," Rumsfeld gets weirded out by saying the word "torture." "I'm not a lawyer," he said. "My impression is that what has been charged thus far is abuse, which I believe technically is different from torture ... And therefore I'm not going to address the 'torture' word." I agree; the events at Abu Ghraib neatly fall into two other, distinct categories: murder and wicked bizarre gay-pryamids.

Liberal Media Blocks Michael Moore Movie, Provides Him With Invaluable Free Publicity Disney is cockblocking Michael Moore's new film "Fahrenheit 911," a comedic documentary that links George Bush's family to those of prominent Saudis and Osama bin Laden. Why is the Mouse blocking distribution of the film? Is it obscene? Or would it just possibly ruin obscene tax-breaks Disney receives from Florida governor Jeb Bush? Says Moore's agent, "Disney head Michael Eisner) definitely indicated there were tax incentives he was getting for the Disney corporation and that's why he didn't want me to sell it to Miramax. He didn't want a Disney company involved." A senior Disney executive responded by saying that Disney appeals to families of all different poilitical stripes and it wouldn't want to alienate anyone. Right... Hopefully Disney's hysterics will boost up Moore like the post 9-11 banning of his book did.

Vengeful Right Hand of God Starting At The Top In the wake up two McDonalds CEOs dying of heart attacks, ClearChannel head Lowry Mays was hospitalized for brain surgery on Friday.

From the "You Can't Make This Shit Up" Department... A caller to the Rush Limbaugh show remarked that the gay-prison-pyramid in Abu Ghraib was just kinda "like a college fraternity prank." Rush responded "Exactly. Exactly my point! This is no different than what happens at the skull and bones initiation and we're going to ruin people's lives over it and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You of heard of need to blow some steam off?" I don't know about you dear MLWL reader, but the Sikh Geek has had to deal with many stressful situations and not once has he ever needed to make a gay pyramid with Iraqi prisoners to chill out.

Worst Class Ever. Ever. Not even "Participation in American Society" sucked this bad.

Million Moron March Indeed In a definate upgrade from public figure "gettin religion," Howard Stern has "gotten political" since he has been sparring with the FCC. While his rants against Bush are a nice replacement for his crack-smoking lesbian homeless dwarf segements, his campaign against Oprah's indecency has resulted in fantastic letters such as this. Literally.
P.S. How is Howard Stern such a threat to society, while calling for the murder of people on the air isn't? WTF.

-The Sikh Geek