"Hell Is The Absence Of All Reason."
I Feel Safer Already... "The F.B.I. issued an urgent bulletin to several cities on Friday that warned of the prospect of an imminent terrorist attack but retracted the alert hours later, after the intelligence proved unfounded, officials said." And this article from NewsMax (fucking NewsMax!) reveals quaint little facts about the recent Chicken Little news conference with John Ashcroft. The FBI is currently following less than a dozen potential terrorists and of the seven scary al-Qaeda suspects that "could be in the US planning an attack," "none of the seven people identified at the Aschcroft/Mueller press conference is believed to be in the U.S." Hell, the MLWL reported last week that one of the seven was arrested in Pakistan last year. At least 2,000 tips poured into the FBI after the news conference, I'm assuming from paranoid mouth-breathers who felt uneasy about that swarthy dude at the Piggly-Wiggly. Watch a CBS video of our heroic Keystone Cops here.
Like Rats Fleeing The Titanic Rumy's ex-wingman Richard Perle admits that the occupation in Iraq is a failure saying, "I would be the first to acknowledge we allowed the liberation (of Iraq) to subside into an occupation. And I think that was a grave error, and in some ways a continuing error." Not even Bush's fucking dad is feelin' allright about Iraq. He was recently quoted as saying “The country is doing pretty darn well, but the war in Iraq is a large problem. There’s a lot of what Jimmy Carter called ‘malaise’ around.” At least Bush is keeping a souvenier of Saddam's pistol in the White House like a fucking child.
Who The Fuck Is Making Decisions Over There? Why on earth would 100 Iraqi police officers abandon their posts in Najaf? This might have something to do with it. "The Iraqis left their posts because they felt they received second-class treatment when they arrived from Baghdad, the American adviser said Monday. The U.S. adviser said no sleeping arrangements had been made for the Iraqis, they had no personal gear for their duties or changes of clothes, and they were given military rations for meals that included pork. Muslims are forbidden to eat pork."
Feeding The Masses Like A Bunch Of Jackasses Remember the air drops of food the US delivered shortly after the beginning of the war in Afghanistan? Hell, does anyone remember Afghanistan? This article by the Memory Hole's Russ Kick details all of the bizarre screw-ups with the food drops: spoiled food, alien to the populace and packaged like cluster bombs, all at three times the cost of land-delivered food.
As If School Didn't Suck Enough A Virginia police officer was fired after "inappropriately bullying" a fifth-grader and "taking him to the ground" with a defensive move when the student tried to hug her after a DARE course. And in New Jersey a middle-schooler named Terrence Philo Jr. was presented "with a certificate, a trophy and the first-ever Terrence Philo Jr. Award." Only last month the Terrence was given the "Crybaby Award" from his basketball coach at an awards banquet making his irate family complain to the school. I'm still waiting for my "Sikh Geek of the New Millennium" honorary amulet.
-The Sikh Geek
