What The Fuck Are YOU Looking At?!

Yeah, I'm Sure Some Of Them Are Still "At Large" In the scariest news on female criminals since the vagina bomb, a gang of overweight shoplifting women has been terrorizing the South African port city of Dubar.

Kerry Smear Watch The fine folks at Snopes debunk an email circulating that claims Kerry "voted to kill every military appropriation for the development and deployment of every weapons systems since 1988." "A 22 February 2004 Republican National Committee (RNC) research briefing includes the list of weapons systems found in this message and citations that purportedly support the claim that Senator Kerry voted to kill each one. But all the citations stem from votes on three Congressional bills, none of which were about a specific weapons system or group of weapons systems."

End Of The World Watch A sunspot 20 times the size of Earth has been found on the sun, with the potential to launch a massive solar storm that would wreck havoc with satellites and flight patterns. And on the home front, ice is melting in Greenland at an increasing rate, up to one meter per month in some places.

TV Hits The Bottom And Bounces Remember that skit on The Ben Stiller Show called "Amish Studs" that parodied the sleazy Mark DeCarlo dating show? Word to the wise: fight reality with parody and you will walk away bloody.

Call In Back Up! She's Nine! Police in Arizona are facing some heat after striking a handcuffed nine-year old girl (note: 4'7" tall weighing 85 lbs) with a taser. In defense of the police, the girl was screaming, swearing and "would not listen." I feel better about my child management skills already.

-The Sikh Geek