Friday, July 02, 2004

TODAY'S TOP FIVE: Marlon Brando R.I.P.

Good for the Goose, Anti-Semitic for the Gander Let's pile into the Way, Way Back Machine and recall those dusty days of late 2002, when the Bush administration was building a case for the invasion of Iraq because Saddam Hussein was "in defiance of international law" concerning his huge arsenal of weapons of mass destruction (ahem). Now, returning to the present day, we find that Israel is vowing to ignore a World Court ruling on the legality of its "peace barrier" in the West Bank, and demanding that the U.S. support its, ahem, defiance of international law.

The Age of Pericles Will Have to Wait The United Nations has announced that the elections in Afghanistan will likely have to be postponed, possibly until next year. The problem is that there is slower voter registration than they had envisaged, because the Taliban keeps slaughtering poll workers, forcing the cancellation of registration efforts in entire provinces. Rest assured, though. The UN says this is not "a major cause for worry." Except, possibly, for the poll workers.

Always Start Forest Fires Every summer since September 11, there have been forest fires, and alarmist pundits who suggest that it could be terrorists starting them. As it turns out, there's at least one paramilitary group out there that has already burned more than 14,000 acres of woodland: the Boy Scouts of America. The federal government has filed a $14 million lawsuit against the Boy Scouts, charging that the scouts set a 2002 blaze in the Uinta Mountains while camping in the woods to earn survival merit badges.

Ralph Nader, Whore for the Right People scoffed when I proclaimed months ago the Official Consider Arms Conspiracy Theory: Ralph Nader is a paid Republian operative. Yet the proof continues to mount, like this story: Richard Egan, who was George W. Bush's ambassador to Ireland until this year, and his family are pouring thousands of dollars into Nader's campaign. As you can perhaps imagine, a man who donated enough to George W. Bush in 2000 to be named ambassador does not have a lengthy history of giving to left-wing candidats. Meanwhile, a federal lawsuit has been filed against Nader, claiming that his campaign has accepted illegal assistance from the Bush campaign (that's a violation of U.S. election law). So, how much longer before the Official Conspiracy Theory becomes accepted public wisdom?

Today's "Thank God It's Friday" Special: It's Fun to Stay at the ASEAN Regional Forum Truly, this is the glamour of statecraft at its most sublime: at the conclusion of an Asian security forum today, Colin Powell brought things to a rousing finish by donning construction worker garb and performing an altered version of the Village People's signature hit "YMCA." No, really.

-Consider Arms