Friday, July 30, 2004

TODAY'S TOP FIVE: Go, Balloons!

We Have Met the Enemy, and He is Us So, you think John Kerry gave a good speech last night? You think Edwards gave one Wednesday? You think the Democrats did a good job of parrying the attack from the Republicans and the media and had a well-managed convention? You fool - you're obviously not a real liberal! Because over in the Village Voice, something called Ward Harkavy is raving about the how Democrats didn't perform abortions on stage and call for the slaughter of Jenna and Barbara. It's a good thing people like this aren't actually in positions of power, and confine their political activity to getting locked in cages called "free speech zones" outside conventions.

Why Don't You Deltas Just Take Some Soma? Ah, the life of a compassionate conservative. A Bush campaign official, transferring a phone call from a reporter with a question about job quality, thought she wasn't heard when she groused that American workers unhappy with their jobs should "just take Prozac." Hey, maybe we would, if there were such a thing as a decent prescription drug benefit plan in this country.

Like the Founding Fathers, But More Bloodthirsty and Dictatorial Iraq's exciting new take on freedom apparently includes one that even we don't have here in the supposed homeland of democracy: the freedom not to criticize the prime minister. Iyad Allawi has set up a censorship committee which vows to shut down any media outlets that broadcast or print "unwarranted critcism" of the prime minister. As a service to Iraqi journalists, here is an excercise showing the difference between "warranted" and "unwarrantd" criticism of Allawi: UNWARRANTED - "Prime Minister Allawi is an ineffective leader whose only agenda seems to be serving the interests of the American occupation authority." WARRANTED - "Prime Minister Allawi is so generous, wise, handsome, and strong that he sometimes makes other men ashamed of their own worthlessness."

Wanted: Guy to Help President Bush II Hide Secret, Illegal Stuff Done by President Bush I Here's an interesting story. John Carlin, official Archivist of the United States, was forced to resign last December by the Bush administration, which refuses to give a reason for the move (in open defiance of federal law, which requires the administration to provide a reason for removing an Archivist to Congress). Apparently, the Bush gang wants a more pliant archivist in the job, because a huge number of Bush I's papers are scheduled to go on the public record in January. I wonder what they're so desperate to keep hidden.

Iran Invasion Deathwatch: Day 7 Today, Secretary of State Colin Powell (My Lai/Iran Contra/"nexus of poisons and terror") said he thinks the uncertain state of Iran's nuclear program will have to be brought to the United Nations Security Council for a vote. "It is our judgment that Iran is developing a nuclear weapon," Powell said. "The world has to take note of this." A UN Security Council condemnation, of course, could pave the way for military action. Does any of this sound familiar? And, after Iraq, why does Powell think he has any credibility on whether Middle Eastern nations are developing weapons of mass destruction?

-Consider Arms