Saturday, February 19, 2005

A Shoe Of Truth Thrown At A Douchebag Of Falsehood

Fuck Yeah! What's a use of a shoe better than Kruschev banging it on a desk at the UN to make a point? Joining the sacred pantheon that houses the dudes that threw pies at Ann Coulter, and throwing it at Richard Perle while screaming "Motherfucking Liar!" at a Dean/Perle debate in Portland, Oregon. (Thankfully, DailyKos keeps its language just how we like it, filthy.) Dick started off by commenting that Democrats "looked at the Democratic Party and chose a physician to lead them." Yeah, medical doctors are such a lowly and disrespected career; it's right above carny and right below Port-A-John cleaner. Perle is such a loathesome, warmongering piece of shit I could only hope the shoe was a heat-seeking ballistic wingtip.

Support Our Brave, Child-Fucking Troops Nobody's a fan of child prostitution, but it's a whispered fuck that a sizeable chunk of our taxmoney goes to support it. Grit your teeth and read this article by Charles Colson on the military's ‘Unmentionable Topic’. “It’s the same thing the military brass and senior enlisted men have failed to mention. It’s the same thing medics who pass out condoms fail to mention. It’s the same thing the U.S. government has failed to mention. It’s the same thing our churches, inhabited by veterans who keep the secret, fail to mention. It’s the unmentionable topic among Navy veterans . . . namely, that many of the mysterious Asian prostitutes who tend to our men in uniform are kids, and many of these kids are, basically, slaves.”

It Must Suck To Attend William Cooper Middle School "Each student was required to wear identification cards around their necks with their picture, name and grade and a wireless transmitter that beamed their ID number to a teacher's handheld computer when the child passed under an antenna posted above a classroom door."

Finally, A Gift For Both The Sarcastic Liberal AND The Douchebag Neo-Con In Your Life A Coca-Cola logo-styled "Enjoy Capitalism" t-shirt.

The English Langauage Fails
It especially fails when you need it to describe a lawsuit brought against the Gorilla Foundation which houses "Koko" the gorilla, by two former female employees who claim that they were ordered to bond with the talking primate by bearing their breasts. If you thought that your job sucks, at least it probably won't end with you muttering the phrase "I refused to expose my breast to perform acts of bestiality with one of the gorillas."

Condi in 2008: SHE PLAYS THE FUCKING PIANO PEOPLE!
The rumour mill in the Beltway is abuzz with talk that Cheney is going to resign for "health reasons" in 2005, putting Condi in the VP seat and jockeying her for a 2008 presidential run. Keep in mind that this terrifying prospect is being put forth by WorldNetDaily, the same site that shills for books entitled "The Nephilim and the Pyramid of the Apocalypse" and "Alien Intrusion: UFOs and the Evolution Connection."

-The Sikh Geek