Thursday, February 03, 2005

In Chinese Astrology, 2005 Is The Year Of The Flaming Douchebag

Like Taking Candy From A Baby, But Remarkably Worse... Big ups to Vikings quarterback Duante Culpepper for giving diamond necklaces to a paralysed child at an awards ceremony on Wednesday, and then taking them back (causing the child's mother to cry). Now and forever, the Douchebag Pantheon will resound with the words, "Where's that kid at? I've got to get my stuff back."

And I Thought Nintendo Controller Belts Were The Nadir Of Eighties Retro Elliot Abrams was recently promoted to national security advisor to George Bush. If that name sounds familiar it's because Abrams has previously pled guilty to withholding information from Congress during the Iran-Contra affair. Well, at least he'll have a good handle on all those arms we illegally sold to Iran when we fight a preemptive war against them...

The Shame Of Connecticut Joe Lieberman, the very fibre of your being echoes with the words "fucking douchebag." Less than a year ago he declared a three-way tie for third place in a primary to be "the people of New Hampshire putting me into the ring." Now everyone's favorite anti-candy crusader is one of two dissenting Democratic senators who are going out on a limb to fight for the nomination of Bush's torture-loving lapdog, attorney general nominee Gonzales. Leiberman called the denial of rights to Gitmo detainees "progressive" and "remarkably just" while also citing the fact that the Bush administration allowed the prisoners to receive food and water. Yeah, not allowing those under your care to starve to death is truly the markings of an angel of mercy. Asshole.
Get video of Mister Joementum sucking face with George Bush here.

-The Sikh Geek