Friday, August 20, 2004

Sit The Fuck Down Joe Piscapo.

Above All, Do No Harm Fuck you Hippocrates! Military doctors were complicit and in some cases actively participated in the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. Doctor Miles from the University of Minnesota has cited evidence that "doctors falsified death certificates to cover up murders, hid evidence of beatings and revived a prisoner so he could be further tortured."

Adbusters Jumps The Shark And Then Prints An Oblique Post-Situationist Critique Of "Sharkness" In Our Consumerist Culture Years ago Adbusters was a nice Leftist magazine that picked apart advertising and did spoofs on major ads. Then it started getting VERY concerned with its layout and design and became a Vogue-aspiring sychophant to Guy Debord. Now, the Canadian magazine has wandered off the reservation and is inviting their readers to join them in a journey into a "radical new world" after the collapse of civilization as we know it. According to AlterNet, "The next issues of Adbusters, they tell us, is going to be compiled as if it were being published 6 months after this supposed crash. The editors, in their request for so-called Post-Crash submissions, say they can see 'a chance to create the new world that we've always dreamed about.'" What is this dream world? It's a magical place where "Violent gangs and bandits roam the streets. People move to the country – if they can. Supermarket shelves are half-empty, power is intermittent, gasoline hard to find..." Is it safe to say that Adbusters, like others on the extreme Left, are armchair nihilists who would love to see the collapse of our world, but will still use their iMacs and drink lattes until it happens? Or did the dudes at Adbusters watch Fight Club one time too many?

You Can't Spin This Too Well, Karl
Where will the Bush twins be on September 11th? At a gay wedding celebration in suburban Maryland, of course.

Swift Midfielders For Truth Already in one of his campaign ads, Bush is using the presence of Afghani and Iraqi Olympians in Greece as proof of his success in the "War on Terror." Who disagrees? The Iraqi Olympians. Members of the Iraqi soccer team, who have been stunning in their recent successes resent being used by Bush as a re-election tool. Said midfielder Ahmed Manajid, "How will he meet his god having slaughtered so many men and women? He has committed so many crimes." Anothe said tha he would be fighting with the resistance in Iraq against American forces "for sure" if he wasn't playing soccer.

Iraq? How About I-ROCK! A profile from the Wall Street Journal of the only heavy metal bands in Iraq, Acrassicauda, or Black Scorpion to you unLatinate bitches.

And Bush Has Been Crowned "Soul Brother Number One" The newly established People of Color United (they don't know their initials are the same as that Jeremy Piven frat movie?) have launched a series of ads on the radio that challenge John Kerry on "helping and hiring Blacks." And by "People of Color United" they mean "People United Under A Rich, White, Republican Insurance-Company Owner Named J. Patrick Rooney Who Provides Half Of The Entire Funding." But I Guess PUUARWRI-CONJPRWPHOTEF doesn't have the same ring to it.

Only A Minor Accounting Glitch For Neo-Athens Maybe they can check under the sofa. Almost $9 BILLION is unaccounted for in Iraq after the US Coalition Provisional Authority handed the money over to the new Iraqi government. Some highlights of the "lax stewardship" are listing 8,206 people on a workroll even though only 603 people doing the work could be counted and paying for 74,000 guards even though the real number could not be validated. And in a completely unrelated sidenote, Texas-based Haliburton was paid $1 billion out of those shady funds.

-The Sikh Geek