Monday, August 16, 2004

Is It Monsoon Season Or Something?

Venezuelans: So Much Smarter Than Californians
Now that election observers, including Jimmy Carter, have certified the results (hey Jimmy, what cha doing in November? I hear FL is real nice during that time of the year...) it's official: Venezuelans have resisted the urge to become the Californians of Latin America by voting down a right-wing recall effort against lefty president Hugo Chavez. Chavez, who survived a coup in 2002 that some believe was orchestrated by the US, proclaimed from the balcony of the presidential palace, "Hopefully, from this day on Washington will respect the government and people of Venezuela." Why all the playa hating against Chavez? Well Venezuela is the world's fifth largest oil exporter and Chavez likes to use oil profits to fund such progressive social policies as health care, education, and food subsidies. Which when you translate them from Spanish into English spells "Communism."

This Is What You Get For Performing Under The Name "DJ L-Train"
A 26-year-old Williamsburg woman was injured by a scalding hot manhole (although not the kind the Sikh Geek usually injures himself with) when she fell off her skateboard in the E. Village. The cover was so hot that an imprint of it was branded into her skin, with the "O" and "N" from Con Edison visible in her flesh. Don't worry sweetie, as much as it hurts right now that sucker is gonna make a boss tattoo. Expect to see branded hipsters ALL up and down Bedford Ave. this fall.

If Snuggling Is A Crime Then I'm Guilty As Charged
Hold me, CA.

--MC No Shame, all warm and fuzzy inside