Wednesday, February 25, 2004


Let Me Check: Nope. Still Don't Care About Gay Marriage.

You Can't Stop the Kucinich Juggernaut; You Can Only Hope to Contain It This is the time for Dennis Kucinich (D-Vegan) to break out of the pack and assume his rightful role as Democratic front-runner. The only candidate who has been endorsed by both telepathic dolphins and the obscure author of an eccentric children's book managed to come in second in the Hawaiian primary with 26 percent of the vote. As Marcus-Marcus once pointed out, using Joe Lieberman's logic that a 5th place finish counts as a win, this essentially means that Dennis Kucinich is our new president. Hail!

Gay Marriage: One Blogger Struggles to Care Once again, it's worth noting that I totally support the rights of gays and lesbians to get married. It's just that on my list of things to be pissed off about, this comes somewhere below compact disc prices and the success of novelist Dan Brown. America is apparently split on the issue, 45-46 in favor vs. against, according to this story. If this becomes a big deal campaign issue, I will be enraged with boredom.

Urban Outfitters Must Be Destroyed Yeah, dudes, "voting is for old people"! Right on! That's why old people and their dumb bullshit agendas run this country, and hipsters with stupid trucker hats and ironic t-shirts (pictured) pound sand. We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks.

Your Tax Dollars At Work This year, the Pentagon has set aside between $3 million and $4 million in payment for "information" from the Iraqi National Congress, the bozo outfit that recently admitted to fabricating evidence about Saddam's WMD in order to provoke a US invasion. That's right; we're continuing to give millions of dollars to people who lied to us so that they may continue to lie. Hey, if the Pentagon will just cut me a check for half that, I'll make up all kinds of stupid bullshit. Think of the savings!

Tony Blair: Loathed Hate-figure A new poll shows that 40 percent of Labour Party members want to see Tony Blair quit before the next General Election. That's 4 in 10 of his own party loyalists; imagine if 40 percent of Republicans wanted Bush to quit before November. Think of the seismic shitquake that would register as in American politics. Is Tony taking the hint? No. "The results come after Mr Blair made clear in a weekend newspaper interview that he intended to lead Labour into the next General Election." Instead of "the next General Election," though, that should have read "defeat."

- Consider Arms