TODAY'S TOP FIVE:
Just like starting over.
Live From New York: You're Fired! In a move that even critics have to concede is pretty awesome, Russian autocrat Vladimir Putin fired his entire governing cabinet during a live television broadcast. Donald Trump wishes he had that kind of cachet.
Is "Darth Nader" Better Than "Ralph Nadir"? Nader-hating continues to be one of my favorite trends, nicely exemplified by this article calling Ralph a delusional chronic masturbator. I don't know if that's all true, but he sure is a dick. Even NOAM CHOMSKY says he's voting for the Democrat this year; when you're to the left of Noam Chomsky, you're simply out of the frame. Hey Ralph, know what? Don't help anymore.
We're Sorry, Mr. Potatoe Head I'm glad Calvin Trillin wrote this column, because I've been thinking about this for a long time but had no way to articulate it: Dan Quayle got a raw deal. Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not a fan of the former veep. But remember the shitstorm of controversy he had to go through in 1988 because he was in the Indiana National Guard instead of the Army during Vietnam? As Trillin writes, "But in the current furor about George W. Bush's military record it seems to be taken for granted that Mr. Bush got into the so-called Champagne unit of the Texas Air National Guard through influence. The stories begin by saying he was jumped over a 500-man waiting list. Then they quickly go on to investigate the details of his sojourn in Alabama. Using influence to get into the guard and therefore out of Vietnam is no longer disqualifying for 'sons of the powerful'; it's assumed." Dear God, do you know what this means? It means we all owe Dan a heartfelt apology.
New Feature: October Surprise Watch Osama, if you fuck up this country twice in three years, they better kill you, because only then would you be safe from my insane wrath.
Roy Moore, Your Country Needs You Here's an interesting article on the possibility of a Republican Nader: Former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore. Moore, if you're interested, is the chap with the monument to the 10 Commandments who was railroaded out of the judiciary for his infelicitious display of said monuments. A hero the conservative true believers in the Constitution Party (which was on the ballot in 41 states in 2000), Moore is said to be mulling a run partly to show up George Bush as phony conservative and partly to strike back at the administration's decision to make William Pryor, the Alabama Attorney General who ran Moore out of town, a judge on the 11 Circuit Court of Appeals. Run, Roy, Run!
-Consider Arms
