Tuesday, February 24, 2004

For G-D's Sake, Take Off Your Trucker Hat You Hipster Schmuck! I know it's only February, but without a doubt this will be my favorite news story of 2004. The Williamsburg section of Brooklyn has become this decade's answer to grunge-era Seattle and the large population of Hassidic Jews is not too happy about being pushed out of their century-old neighborhood by gentrified real estate prices. On January 4th many Hassidim protested the advance of hipters into their neighborhood saying that the trendy bastards "pollute the eyes and the mind." They even composed a prayer with my favorite line being, "Master of the Universe, our Father, Father of mercy, have mercy upon us and upon the borders of our village and do not allow the prosecution to come inside our home, please remove from upon us the plague of the artists, that we shouldn't drown in evil waters, and that they shouldn't come to our residence to ruin it." Said one Hasidic rabbi, "Those selling real estate to the hipsters (will) never be able to leave hell.” Neither will the hipsters who maintain their constant orbits between Bedford Avenue, second hand stores with designer pricetags, and an ocean of bands with the article "The" in their names.

-The Sikh Geek