Saturday, March 19, 2005

Robert Blake Lives, Terry Schiavo Dies

Enough To Make Steroids In Baseball Seem Important Hats off to Rep. Al Edwards for fighting the good fight. The Texas legislator is attempting to put an end to sexually suggestive" cheerleaders. "It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down." And speaking of "breaking it down," isn't the Lone Star State always scraping the bottom in national standards of literacy and school performance? Way to pick your battles. P.S. The steroid is not entirely unimportant; seeing Mark McGuire cry like a child in front of members of Congress was priceless.

What Happened to Marcus-Marcus Anyways? Old-time fans of the MLWL have been wondering for awhile what has become the blog's co-creator and delightful poster of over a year. I wish I had good news to report, but currently he is looking for a new job...

The Hunter Becomes The Hunted The voice of The Fish on the air becomes the Fresh Fish in the jail. "Agents with the FBI's Violent Crimes Task Force arrested a Christian radio station personality as part of a child pornography investigation. Bureau agents began investigating Chris Ruleman, 40, a midday host for WFFI, 94FM The Fish, earlier this week after receiving information that he possessed child pornography."

A Thousand Flowers Of Parody Bloom Wow. Whiskey Bar does an amazing comparison between David Horowitz's anti-liberal academic crusade and the Maoist Cultural Revolution.
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I Mean, What's REALLY Important About An Unqualified Gay Prostitute Gaining Questionable Access To The White House Press Room Under The Cover Of A GOP-Funded Pseudo-News Outlet For Two Years To Lob Softball Questions To The President And His Press Secretary? "The House Judiciary Committee voted against adopting a resolution demanding Bush agencies turn over all credentialing information related to James D. Guckert 21-10, the discredited conservative reporter and prostitute who wrote under the nom de guerre 'Jeff Gannon.'" Shocker.

That's What You Get For Referring To Consider Arms As "The Lowest of the Low" Bitch. Connecticut's biggest embarrassment (well, after Lieberman and that mayor who molested kids)is headed to prison for corruption. While the shitty Courant is quick to point out that Federal Prison Camp Devens isn't quite "Club Fed" we're dissapointingly sure that John Rowland won't have to beg for his life at the hands of scumbags like this.

A Cross-Country Tour Fit For The Band Jackyl

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The Decalogue is hitting the Southern states with awesome opening act and quixotic political aspirant Judge Roy Moore!

Until Chris Burke Becomes A Preacher, Religion In Hollywood Can't Get More Retarded "In its apparent never-ending thirst for increased cash flow the so-called “Kabbalah Centre,” run by the Philip Berg family of California and favored by Madonna, has launched a new energy drink. The “Kabbalah Energy Drink” is sold in a red; white and blue can and produced through the same company that puts out 7 Up. A Kabbalah spokesperson says, “It’s infused with Kabbalah water, which is holy water” reported MSNBC. “We’re going after the Red Bull market,” he also said."

-The Sikh Geek, Weekend Warrior