Business as Usual

As I type this, the worst president in American history is on TV, giving his victory speech. This is perhaps the worst I have felt about politics in my entire life.

Fear not, though: the actual election of George W. Bush (I guess we'll have to stop using quotation marks when we call him president) has ensured that the MLWL will have plenty of material from now until they drag us off to the work camps.

A lot of people here in Blue State America have talked about throwing in the towel, leaving the country, going into "internal exile," etc. Not me. I'm going to be here to hymn ever failure, to snicker at every gaffe, to say "I told you so" at every foreign policy blunder, because that's the kind of asshole I am. Yes, it sucks that Kerry lost the election, but if the engaged, intelligent, progressive people in the country decide to drop out entirely, what does that leave us with? There are weak and helpless people in America who need someone to stand up for them. The Democratic Party is doing a pretty pathetic job of that lately, but it's all we have for now. I'm not going to leave the flock to the wolves without putting up a fight.

So, take note: Get your Presidential Prayer Team mugs filled with steaming caffeine. Gulp down your freedom fries. Clutch your Ann Coulter Talking Action dolls with fervor. This battleship's going beneath the waves with all guns firing.

-Consider Arms