Sunday, June 05, 2005

TODAY'S TOP NEWS: It'll take more than an ozone douche to keep the Sikh Geek out of the game.

Sadly, No One Is Able To Change His Name Back From "The Asshole Who Treid To Rename Fucking French Fries" The most ball-shattering act of jingoism in the lead-up to the Iraqi War was the attempt to rename "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries." (Long time MLWL viewers should recall our early article and MC No Shame's stunning graphic.) France didn't attack us and we weren't at war with the Gauls; we were just THAT pissed off at their refusal to support or unilateral, unprovoked, illegal war based on obviously false information. Now it seems that the public servant who led the charge (with, in his own words, "God's hand") against freedom-hating potato products has changed his mind and is now a vocal opponent against the war. Says Republican Walter Jones, "I wish it had never happened." Neither do we, douchebag.

STILL Pissed Off That He Didn't Get That Shiny Red Bike... An artist in Glasgow is getting heat for a 200 square foot billboard he designed that carries such slogans as "Stop Lying to Your Children About Santa Claus." The "artist" laments, "If you try and tell kids the truth about how they're being manipulated, you're the bad guy crushing their dreams." Well, yeah... Best line of the article? "Cullen's portfolio also includes a drawing of Santa saying 'I killed Jesus.'"

Because It's Either Al-Qaeda or The A.L.F. That Will Deliver The Next Terror Attack Remember when the Patriot Act was first being pitched and Americans were told that it would only be used to fight terrorists and not abused by fighting more minor, domestic crimes? Me neither.

None Dare Call It Monopoly, Or Really Sucky FM Radio A Clear Channel sponsored anti-Clear Channel station goes up against a real Clear Channel station to ultimately get more listeners to any of the Clear Channel stations. I think.

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Why it's a surveillance camera in the George Orwell Plaza!

-The Sikh Geek