TODAY'S TOP NEWS: I'm Starting With the Man in the Mirror.

EU Ponders Putting Constitution on Hold Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.

Bush Criticizes Iranian Presidential Election Not enough disenfranchised black voters.

Five Marines Killed In Iraq Blast Since the elections, you see, everything there has been much calmer and more stable.

U.S. Ambassador: Osama Not in Afghanistan U.S. Public: Who's Osama again?

House of Representatives in 'Good Decision' Shocker The House voted to repeal the section of the ludicrously named USA PATRIOT Act that allows the FBI to examine library and bookstore records. However, President Bush is vowing to use his veto (FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER) if it passes the Senate. That's right; the guy has been president since January 2001, and he hasn't vetoed a single piece of legislation. What are we paying him for, again?

Democrats Use Downing Street Memo to Question Pre-War Actions of Administration And on the subject of the Downing Street Memo: it's sad when even the Monster Limo Weblog gets to a story before the Associated Press.

Jingle All the Way Back to Austria, You Steroidal Cretin Despite the fact that a tax hike is not on the ballot for this year's special election in California, Schwarzenegger continues to ignore the actual ballot initiatives, instead insisting that Democrats are trying to raise taxes. Recall, people: you did it once, you can do it again.

PBS Takes Steps to Shed Liberal Image Because in the United States in 2005, the way to achieve balance is to become conservative. Think about that, folks.

GM Warns Unions of Health Cuts GM plans to unilaterally reduce the healthcare benefits of United Auto Workers retirees, in addition to laying off 25,000 workers, unless the union agrees to concessions. Strike.

-Consider Arms